Category Archives: Positivity

When you’re too depressed for gratitude

Last week I shared a post explaining what I do to get grateful when I’m not feeling it. I wanted to share the post because unless we’re very lucky, life isn’t mind blowingly exciting all of the time and for most of us, living in awe doesn’t come naturally.

The post was really well received and I had a lot of great feedback but I also received a message from someone who has depression and feels too low to be looking around in wonder regardless of the miracles the rest of us assure her are there. She asked me what *she* should do to feel happier and I thought it would be nice to share my answer here.

I believe self love is the best cure for anyone suffering with low moods. How we speak to ourselves and how we treat ourselves shapes our worlds, and our uncaring self habits tear us down on a daily basis and we’re not even aware of it.

Anyone who feels life is not doing it for them should look inwards first and see what they are telling themselves about their own life. Then they should find the most loving statement they can, and meditate on it daily for at least a month so that spiritual healing can begin. When we meditate with a mantra, our words either throw up what needs to be healed, or we start to feel better. I like ‘I love myself and I love the world’ as a general feel good affirmation but if you’re not there yet, try ‘I’m willing to learn to love myself’ or ‘I appreciate the strength I’m showing as I work towards feeling better’. Whatever makes you feel better is where your attention should be.

Self love mantras are not quick fixes. They are designed to lift you step by step over a period of time but they *do* work if you put effort into noticing your negative thoughts and replace them with a general but more positive statement. Consistency in using them is key but they work best when you are open to them working, so a trip to the doctor, an exercise programme, good sleep or a decent diet all might help you get to that place. Don’t struggle alone.

Alongside the mantras, taking time every day to look after YOU is a good idea. Give yourself some kindness by making space in the day for a quiet cuppa, going for a swim, or enjoying a good book. Most DEFINITELY get into the habit of praising yourself for your daily wins. Notice when you’ve done a fab job, helped someone or contributed. If something has gone well, give yourself a pat on the back.

Notice your thoughts and you’ll be in a good place to change. Are your thoughts negative? If so, your life is going to be tarnished by them.

You may not feel like challenging your thoughts straight away but if you start with thought awareness, you might just find you can begin, over time, to notice when you have been overly harsh, overly critical, or overly influenced by your current mood. You might even be able to give your thoughts over to your depression and know it’s not your true self shining through.

What are you telling yourself today? Could you find a better statement? 🙂

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How to feel grateful when you know you should feel it but don’t!

Whether we want to be happier, work the law of attraction, or see the bright side of a bad situation so our day isn’t ruined, we all know we’re supposed to feel gratitude. We’re supposed to make a note of all the good things in our lives and feel blessed. Then we’re supposed to put a smile on and appreciate life because we surely have it better than others…

But what if you don’t feel blessed? What if you’re saying the words but just don’t feel it despite outward signs of abundance? What then?

At times like this, I look at a picture of our beautiful solar system and the magic of life returns to me in an instant.

I feel humble when I look at images of our galaxy and note how huge it is and how insignificant I am. The earth is made up of the perfect conditions for humans and animals to thrive alike, yet nobody really knows why it all happened or how. It’s a magical mystery to us why the earth has been created with the designs it has, right next to the moon and the sun which we also need for survival.

Seeing our earth or our moon, surrounded by stars or atmospheric clouds reminds me of how blessed I am to be part of this magic and how blessed I am that food, water, shelter and clothing have all been provided for me so I can take part in this wonder. I start to see my day as a gift… One which other people won’t be getting this morning because their time is through. I’m reminded that it’s my responsibility to help the planet thrive, by helping others, looking after nature, and tending the planet as she needs it. She is special, and abusing her is abusing ourselves. I’m reminded of what an absolute absolute privilege it is to see nature working for us, and I see the sky, the trees, a spider web or a daisy in a new light when I head outside. What I get to see is magic before my eyes.

You may not really feel grateful for your iPod or your microwave and you might not feel too impressed with having to jump on the bus and head to work each day but how can it fail to move you when you start thinking about all that had to happen to create the unique being that is you? It wasn’t just your parents creating you but the generations before them and everything the earth offered *them* so they might thrive enough to produce a new generation of thinkers. It was the sky, the rain fall, food, the temperature, the shelter of the trees and our brains developing day by day which all contributed to human life evolving. It was mother nature offering her arms of protection so we might be here today with our internet connection and central heating. We must never forget how an evolving ton of stardust made our lives today possible.

So next time you feel low, get humble. You play a very small part in what is otherwise an intricately designed home. You are blessed to take your place in the complex structure that is our solar system and you get to choose today whether you will make a difference or whether you will take your place for granted. Which will you do? Will you appreciate the opportunities you have today and take part in all the opportunities the world has to offer?

I know I will. Today I feel blessed to be part of the magic. I really hope you do too 🙂

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How to be happier

Can we talk mindfulness this week? It seems to be a buzz word we all throw around as something we ought to practice more of but don’t!

This past week I have been moving from task to task more mindfully. I have been stopping myself every few minutes to check what I’m thinking, and I’ve been amazed at what I’ve learned about myself.

Had you asked me 2 weeks ago whether I was a positive person I’d have said yes! But what I’ve learned recently is that I do most of my life on autopilot, with very little feeling of gratitude. Perhaps this is why life for me is so very often average… I have nothing to complain about but I don’t launch out of bed in excitement each morning either.

How does life look for you? Are you like me, stuck in the same rut, day in, day out? Is life pleasant enough but not all that exciting? If so, what’s missing is mindfulness and the opportunity to practice gratitude that mindfulness brings.

Every moment gives us a chance to be grateful about *something* which is happening for us. The trouble is, 99% of what we do is done without thinking. We don’t give thanks for our legs when we walk out the door. We don’t give thanks for the ease at which we can buy breakfast. We don’t give thanks for safe roads as we commute and we don’t give thanks for the hot water and cosmetics which allow us to feel good as we show up for work. We sit at a desk without feeling gratitude for the comfort of our chair and we drink coffee without feeling thankful for our tastebuds. I could go on but you get the picture I hope!

So this week I would like to challenge you to pause every 5 minutes to check what you’re thinking. Are you practicing gratitude as you should be? Because if you’re not, don’t be surprised when life feels bland.

We have opportunities at any given moment to appreciate life and if we choose not to focus on appreciating, it’s no wonder we miss the miracles. I think as you have a go at this mindfulness challenge you’ll be surprised at how frequently you forget to check your thoughts and how often the hours pass by as you ‘get on’ with things without really registering how amazing your life truly is!

Have a go at increasing your happiness by taking time to be grateful. Imagine how fab life could appear if you found something to be thankful for every five minutes… You’d struggle to find time for too many negative moments!

Just so you know, being mindful also increases your chances of noticing your intuition coming through and your guides communicating with you.

If happiness isn’t enough, that in itself makes life a bit magical doesn’t it? 😉

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The magic of intention

I spoke to somebody last week who is working on meeting her spirit guide. She came to me for a few lessons because she’d not been enjoying success in her attempts to connect. We spoke about her methods and her feelings about spirit and, long story short, it transpired that she wasn’t meditating more than once a week (usually less) and that she didn’t really believe a guide was waiting for her to speak with. Because of this belief, she wasn’t expecting anything when she did sit down to the occasional meditation.

She’s allowed me to blog this because it may be the one thing holding you back from your own spiritual connection too.

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You see, no matter what you do or what you want to achieve, your intention plays a big part in your success. If you have a strong intention to connect with your spirit guide, be happy, learn to speak Russian or declutter the house, you’re going to get there sooner or later. If you don’t believe it’s possible though, you’re not going to put the time in. You’ll not see results and then you’ll justify your lack of progress. It is impossible to set a positive intention if deep down you don’t believe you will see success.

Your intention makes all the difference

Do you have a goal or a desire? If so, set the intention to move towards your end result regardless of what it takes. Don’t hold back or put obstacles in the way, at least not if your intention to achieve is strong. (Is it?) Decide right now that you are going to make it, step by step and choice by choice.

Perhaps your goal is to feel differently, to be happier or worry less. In which case it’s time to declare your intention to feel calmer and more joyful. If you don’t, your environment will dictate your mood and take you out. You get to choose how you feel based on how committed you are to feeling it.

Maybe you want to stay peaceful as you move through a stressful day. Maybe you want your spirit guides to direct you bit by bit. Maybe you want to connect with a loved one on the other side. Intention is what makes the difference between achieving these things and feeling dispondent. You have to believe in your ability and then set the intention to uncover what you need to know before strengthening your skills. Without these things your guides know your heart isn’t ready to put the work in yet and connecting isn’t really your intention at all. (Is it any wonder you don’t hear them?)

It took me a fair while to realise that happiness and gratitude are a choice. There is always the choice of feeling better than you do and it’s achieved by looking for a better focus. This is probably one of my biggest life lessons – that life is what you make it and you make it better by your strong intentions.

Intention… One word which can set you up strong or have you waste your time in fluffy half hearted progress. Are you determined when it comes to what you desire?

Just so you know… The girl I’ve been speaking with hasn’t managed to meet her guide so far but she IS feeling more connected and she IS waiting patiently because she knows what she wants and she’s intending to achieve it. She’s committed to her daily meditation practise now too, sending a clear signal out that she knows what she wants.

What do you want for yourself? Have you set your intention today?

Love as always 🙂

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Ladybird spirit guides

Have you read about some areas of the UK suffering from ladybird fever? Last week we were in the park and I don’t think I have ever known so many ladybirds in one spot! Ever had 6 or 7 ladybirds on you at a time? Because nor had I before last Tuesday! We’d flick them away and another set would be straight on us. My friend brought one home down her jeans!

Seeing so many ladybirds flying amongst us got me wondering if maybe they had a message for us because I believe without doubt things happen for a reason. Those bugs got my attention last week and I wanted to know why!

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Spiritually, ladybirds represent a deep connection to the spiritual journey including the link our past lives have to our present selves. This actually ties in with our current moon phase which is creating a call for us all to do some inner work and seek answers within ourselves rather than looking for external fulfillment. (Great timing then)

Ladybirds want us to be spiritually aware and to live joyously within the moment too so perhaps they’ve come as a reminder to us to enjoy today for all the fun it can bring us. What have you loved so far about your day? What have you noticed as being magical?

Ladybirds also represent abundance and luck. In such droves in our country right now, imagine the abundance they could bring to us all! Need more abundance of anything right now? Money? Health? Support? Time? Give thanks to the ladybird for reminding you lack is nothing more than a mindset.

Overall, ladybirds are a symbol of positivity, of luck and of peace and it is a blessing for us to see them. I’m going to be looking out for them from now on so when I see one, I’ll know my spirit guide is either showing me I’m on the right track or reminding me to get with the positive mindset!

Do you have a spirit animal you work with? Is it the ladybird too? Comment and let me know! As always it’s lovely to receive your messages 🙂

X

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How to look for the positive

This week I have challenged myself to a new way of thinking and I’d like to ask you to join me.

How many of you reading this are guilty of sitting in a safe zone and turning your back on your real desires because of the things that could go wrong or the extra effort that might be involved? How many of you reading this are guilty of choosing average because you know the results average will produce and are comfortable with knowing what’s coming? There’s nothing wrong with this way of living if it is giving you the easy, predictable life you love, but what if you feel bored and stuck in a rut?

Talk of positive thinking and the effect words can have on our thoughts is really big right now but if you’re looking around and you’re restless when you see what you have, no number of positive affirmations are going to change your thinking. We tend to stay stuck when we’re scared of getting things wrong because it’s natural to scan each decision we make for risks. Generally when we look for risks we find them too and we frequently stop ourselves in our tracks just incase the boat sinks and we lose what we have now which is better than nothing at all.

So this week I am trying to retrain my mind and instead of scanning for things that might go wrong, I’m looking for the best thing that could happen. And if I like the possibilities, I’m going to take a risk or two. Life is not meant to be bland and predictable unless that’s what you want for yourself – there are too many different places to explore, people to meet and challenges to take on to be wasting time sitting in the ease of doing nothing for the sake of avoiding mishap.

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Can I challenge you to join me in this new way of thinking? When an opportunity comes up, instead of an instant no, consider the best thing that could happen if you said yes and then make a better choice. If that best thing sounds really appealing, why not go for it and experience more life. These don’t have to be life changing opportunities either. How many of us have said no to coffee with a friend because the ironing needs doing?

You could walk through your day asking yourself this better question too. Instead of fretting that you’ll be late for the meeting or something out of your control might not go your way, ask yourself what the best thing that could happen is, and focus on this outcome instead. It’s just as likely for good things to manifest and it’s more productive for you to think positively than it is for you to worry.

Negativity is quite often the default setting but we can get out of it by asking ourselves better questions and allowing ourselves to choose a different perspective. There is always a negative and a positive side. Just for this week, I’m asking if you’ll allow yourself a positive focus and see what happens. Will you?

What is the best that could happen if you did?

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3 steps to happiness

Many people embark on a spiritual journey because they have lost themselves. Have you ever felt empty or as if you *should* feel happy with your blessings but don’t? I understand that feeling because I had it for many years. I kept it hidden because I didn’t believe others felt it too and I’d put a smile on to cover up the mess inside. It wasn’t a good place to be in and I’m so fortunate to have my spirit guides nudging me back to peace these days.

But if you’re at that place now and you haven’t yet connected with your spirit guides or developed a spiritual practice that allows you to hear your intuition clearly, there are still things you can do in order to feel more connected to self.

When I speak of self, I mean your spiritual self… The bit of you that is love and has light to offer the world.
This is the bit that knows what you love and knows what it takes to make you smile. When we connect to this bit more often we become happier and lighter. As a bi-product, we often find it easier to hear our guidance too.

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Connecting with self is really easy, it’s just we forget to do it! We get caught up in the ‘shoulds’ of life instead of measuring our success by the size of our smiles.

Step one is to be aware of what you love doing.

Step two is to identify *why* you like doing what you do. What feelings do you gain when you do what you love? Joy? Do you feel productive? As if you’re contributing? Excitement? Security? Whatever you feel, these are your core values, and living from your ‘feelings’ values is what brings you peace and contentment.

Step three and the last step is to be continuously aware of your values, and commit to making as many decisions as possible each day with your values in mind. Your aim is to feel your valued feelings each and every day.

Whenever a decision needs to be made, ask yourself if the decision is going to bring you an injection of your valued feelings or not. Not only does this make decision making simpler, it encourages you to be more mindful of what you need to feel in order to be happy.

We only ever want things for the feelings we think we’ll gain in the having of it. Don’t wait for everything to fall into place before you allow yourself to connect with what you need. Want to feel something you haven’t made space for recently?

Stop making excuses, and find a way to feel what you need.

When we feel how we need to feel we become more connected to who we are as opposed to who the world wants us to be. We become more connected with who we are supposed to be rather than who the rest of the world wants us to be.

If you are feeling lost and empty, consider what you haven’t been allowing yourself. Because if you haven’t felt good lately, there is only one person who can change that for you…

Lots of love as always,

V X

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Weekly reading, ace of fire

Good morning 🙂 This week I wanted to pull an angel card for us. Did you see my latest blog post? I’m convinced I caught an angel on camera! (Find it here if you’d like to read!)

Whatever you think of my photo though, angels are all around us and can offer us wonderful insights which is why I pulled our guidance this morning from my favourite angel deck.

The card I pulled today was Ace of Fire, and this is a card which represents new beginnings particularly around career. If any of you are looking to change jobs, gain one, or are stuck debating whether you should take a promotion, our guidance says the energy is right for a new start. If it feels good, go for it!

If you are unemployed but are looking for work, be more aware this week of your efforts and step them up. Apply for those jobs you want but don’t feel you can get, and speak to as many people as you possibly can. Push your fear of rejection aside and just go for it. If you get a no, so what! Shout from the rooftops that you are looking for work. Self belief is key here – it can make your year or hold you stuck.

Are you starting a new career this week? If so go in with a positive mindset. You couldn’t have picked a better time!

I’m being told that fear of choosing wrongly holds us back quite a bit. Well, you can forget that fear this week. If you have the chance to take a risk that feels right, do it! The angels are cheering you on!

Love as always 🙂

Vicki X

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Love your new beginnings

On Monday I dropped my youngest off for his first afternoon at school. It wasn’t hard on him at all – he’s keen to get learning and is excited to see more of his brother at playtimes but as for me, I’m feeling a bit lost and I know I’m not the only one experiencing this feeling this week!

New starts are thrown at us all the time whether we choose them or not. Jobs come and go, relationships break down, our homes change and our lives adapt to deal with illness and worse. And we aren’t always ready for the changes.

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I’ve known since my boys were born that one day, they’d need me less but it still feels strange now that the day is upon me. I have hours each day to fill and when I look towards my empty week, I wonder what I will do with all the time that stretches ahead.

Are you in the same boat? Because if so I want to share some advice my guides gave me last night during meditation, and that’s not to look back but instead to remember to be grateful.

My guides tell me that whenever a new chapter is given to us, we should focus on the benefits of our new start. We should focus on the gifts we are being given and the opportunities we now have. Sometimes our gift is simply the fact that we still have shelter or we’ve been shown evidence of the love others have for us. My guides tell me we take these things for granted too often. Other times, we may have asked the universe for a bigger opportunity and the fact that things are shifting around to create space for our new desires is a gift in itself. In these cases we need to be mindful of our bigger goals and feel thankful that the universe is always working in our favour even if we don’t see evidence of this straight away.

Things ALWAYS work out in the end and our challenge is to be at peace with where we are. We win this challenge by putting our focus on the best bits of our situation.

So whatever the reason for your new chapter, here’s a challenge for you!

Find up to three positive aspects of your new situation, and give thanks for them. Then write them down and repeat the process every day. Gratitude is a game changer because it reminds us of our blessings!

Is there something you now have more time to do? Do you have a chance to seek new adventures? Perhaps you simply have the chance to fight on and better your situation, with a better attitude than most others would have.

I am focused on having more time to write, having fewer demands on my immediate attention meaning the opportunity to be more patient when the children *are* here, and the gratitude I feel at having a wonderful school so close by. I might feel lost now, but in time I hope to write more and read the tarot cards more – I don’t have the excuses not to!

This challenge isn’t just for changes you don’t want either! Sometimes we make changes for the good, (accepting promotions for example or committing to a personal project) and then need to take the focus off our resistence and onto the progression we have promised ourselves! Our ‘now’ might be scary in these moments as we start pushing ahead, but that’s ok, isn’t it?

So practise putting your best foot forward and moving. You can dwell on what’s changed, or you can be ok (more than ok!) with where you are. Only one way is going to benefit you long term.

What’s changed for you lately? And what’s good about it?

As always I love to hear from you 🙂

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One of life’s biggest challenges…

Good Morning! Apologies if I sound like a broken record here, but don’t shoot the messenger, ‘K?! Today’s post is a repeat message from yet another angle, which needs to be repeated because some of you stubborn lot are resisting!

Still reading?

Good.

The word of today is connection, and I’ve been asked to put up a reminder of how we achieve that connection and the benefits of it.

All of us are born with the same loving energy running through us and we all have the same goals more or less, to find peace and be loved. But ego kicks in when we’re relatively young and before we know it we’re competing with one another and don’t want to admit weakness. We are terrified of asking for help because doing so shows the world we haven’t got it as sussed as we’d like to have it.

So this week, after asking my dear guide what I should say, the message came back that as humans we should work to be brave, man up, (lady up?!) and admit when we’re struggling. That we should be honest with others for a change, and see who comes forward to assist in a non judgemental way.

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We struggle so much with everything from work to health to addictions, that I believe it’s a necessity to challenge the depth of the relationships around us and learn who those are that we can truly rely on. Yes you have to get vulnerable doing this and you learn pretty quickly who isn’t really interested in a mutually supportive friendship, but I believe a lot of unhappiness comes from our shallow existences. I think strong, supportive relationships with deep foundations put smiles on our faces and make life worth having. Isolation is a killer after all, so let’s not allow ourselves to be silenced into a corner by our own fear of judgement or somebody elses fear of it either.

So here’s the challenge!

What do you need help with today? Are you brave enough to pick up the phone and reach out to somebody?

And in return, if somebody asks for your assistance or time and you have the ability to give it, will you consider giving the gift of a helping hand? 🙂

I’d like to think readers here are that type of person 🙂

So take this message as a cue to action! I don’t want to see anyone struggling alone if there is another option, both this week and going forwards.

Be brave, and ask for help! Ask your mum, your auntie, your brother or your pal. Ask online or find a support group. Ask your dog if you have one!! (You might have a smart one?!)

Just pluck up the courage and ASK!

Get the support you need….

Lots of love as always 🙂

V X

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